Contradiction

I know in my most recent blog I posted about how I was never going to let anyone else tell me about myself, but I never mentioned anything about how I talk to myself.  I never feel like I'm worth anything.  Everyday I look in the mirror and see nothing.  My parents tell me I should live in a hall of mirrors because I am constantly looking at myself, what they don't know is that I'm looking at my imperfections, everything I'm not; beautiful, smart, self confident, nice, funny.  All the things you should see when you look in a mirror yet I see nothing.  Like a vampire.   I feel inadequate in every way possible and I hate hurting myself the way I do, but I can't stop!!! I cry at night when I get into fights with friends because I feel like its my fault that I can't be the person you want, I can't be Albert Einstein to help you with homework, I can't be Megan Fox, the beautiful, successful actress, I can't be Beyonce and sing and dance like a goddess, I can't be Kate Moss and strut down a catwalk.  I can't even be me.